


The Doctors Brother

by TubbyTomatooO



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Doctor Whump, Feels, Getting Together, Grief, Long lost siblings, Mourning, Multi, Pain, Slow Burn, Sorry Not Sorry, crap writing, ish
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-30
Packaged: 2021-01-07 22:17:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21225113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TubbyTomatooO/pseuds/TubbyTomatooO
Summary: 2 brothers, separated for over 200 years, find each other beating unbeatable odds. After all- family is everything.Set after children of earth but the whole master incident didn't happen. The doctor is travelling with Martha and Jack at this moment in time.





	1. Unexpected

**Author's Note:**

> I’m so excited to write this!   
There will be multiple chapters don’t worry I hope y’all like!

================================

"Where to next then?"

The Doctor tried, attempting to get a conversation going. To say the atmosphere on the TARDIS had been anything but miserable this entire time would be an absolute lie. Sighing he ran his hands through his messy brown hair, feeling helpless as he watched his friends and companions struggle with grief and loss. 

Martha was still reeling from a nasty divorce with Mickey, apparently there was only so many near death experiences a person could take- or at least that's what the doctor had heard.   
She was doing okay though, at least she was better than jack... oh jack. Whenever the Doctor went near him, all he could feel was his grief and pain rolling off of him in waves, ready to smother anyone who got remotely close. 

He had picked Jack up from Daibazel, the planet that never sleeps, a little like New York but no work and definitely all play. He had almost drunk himself into a coma at one point, that was when the Doctor had found him, curled up next to a toilet unconscious. 

In the beginning, Jack had been angry so angry that he hadnt even been able to look at the Doctor for the first few days for fear he might explode.

The Doctor looked over at the man. He was just staring into the distance blankly, no trace of the lively, flirty Jack that he had once been. It hurt the timelord to see his friend this way, especially when the doctor knew that he couldve prevented it. Should've prevented it.

In truth he had been on his way when he had heard about the 456s return- they were a vile race, a plague on all living things and yet, the doctor hadnt gotten there fast enough; The damage had already been done, Ianto had been murdered and there was nothing anyone could do except mourn. Deep down he knew that Jack inadvertently blamed him for what had happened to his lover and The Doctor let him, that was what friends did. 

It was also part of the reason why the timelord didnt approach Jack, despite knowing that he needed comfort, he left that to Martha. 

Said English woman popped her head up from under the console where she was trying to install a first aid kit, stating that: 'it would come in useful' or something along those lines.

"Somewhere peaceful!"

The Doctor snorted "Peaceful? But thats so boring! I could take you so many exciting places and you want somewhere peaceful?" he started typing in locations into the console giving Martha a mischievous grin, her giving him one in return.

"Somewhere with alcohol"

Both their faces dropped before the Doctor plastered on an overly enthusiastic smile,

"Alright peaceful planet is is!"

\----------------------------

"I said peaceful not dead"   
Martha mumbled, peering over her sunglasses as she stepped out of the doors of the TARDIS and onto the dusty ground. The Doctor snorted and shoved his hands into his pockets.

"you humans! All you do is complain complain complain! Honestly, your all worse than timelord children..." The Doctor frowned and trailed off into silence, getting lost in his own childhood memories.

A blonde child ran ahead of him giggling, pale blue eyes staring at him intently. 

"Arent you coming? Mother said if we were back before the second sunrise then we would get extra training today!"

The Doctor smiled, a child himself in his memories, reaching out his hand towards the boy clothed in a red cloak, material whipping in the breeze as he ran.

"coming!" He called gleefully, immediately giving chase, following the trail his brother had left for him in the golden strands of grass. Wind blew through his clothes as he ran, smells of crisp grass and sweet cool water filling his nose, overwhelming his senses.

"Doctor!"

Before he knew it, Martha was calling his name and Jack was at least half a mile ahead and not looking back.

"I said do you have children? You always talk like you know them so well" she murmured, looking at him with curiosity dancing in her dark brown eyes. Laughing a little, the Doctor shook his head and began to follow Jack at comfortable pace, leaving dusty footprints in the cracked ground.

"No I didnt —never enough time, though I had a younger brother, I used to look after him a lot after our my father died" He breathed through the ache in his chest that came when talking about his family, not able to relive joyful memories without them being tainted with sorrow. 

Martha frowned and tried to press him more on the matter. "What happened to him? Why didnt you take him with you before Gallifrey fell?"

Clearing his throat and clenching his hands in his pockets, the timelord shook his head. "I-I lost him... I dont want to talk about it." The Doctor snapped, a lot sharper than he had intended, looking away from the woman and out across the desolate landscape.

"it used to be beautiful here you know, filled with life and love" He said quietly, attempting to change the subject, listening to the crunch of dead plants and dry earth underfoot.

Martha looked back at him, raising a perfect eyebrow. 

"It looks like a wasteland though, what happened to it?"

Checking that Jack hadnt wandered too far ahead, the Doctor rubbed the back of his neck as he told her the story of Kaneeda. 

"Before the Great war, the people of Kaneeda used to live in peace. But when a new cruel leader took charge, the whole planet fell into chaos. It was...well it was brutal. Within one year the two sides, the rebells and the enslavors, had completely annihilated each other and destroyed the planet in the progress." The Doctor shook his head and rubbed at his eyes.

Martha didnt say anything for a while, but the silence was soon interrupted by Jack who had stopped over a uncovered hole in the ground. 

"If you two are done having a history lesson then you should come see this. " The Doctor swore he could see a hint of excitement in the mans eyes. 

When the Doctor and Martha reached what could only be described as a manhole, Jack turned and looked to him.

"whats down there?"

Blinking in surprise, The Doctor stood staring at Jack in bewilderment, this was the first time he had actual taken an interest in something other than booze for the whole time they had been travelling. To say that the timelord was stunned was an understatement. 

"Doctor! Whats down the creepy hole? "Martha asked in a louder voice, close to the Doctors ear and startling him out of his surprise. 

"Well! Wouldnt you both like to know!"

"YES! "Both humans yelled at the same time, eager to know apparently.

"Well, they say that there was a guardian of sorts, during the war who fought for the side of peace, and though he didnt succeed he was the only known survivor. It is said that he retreated underground into the old maintenance tunnels, protecting the planet from intruders who would do it more harm."

Jack snorted, " so just an old wives tail then? Great! Im going to go have a look " He called already halfway down the ladder and into the tunnels. 

"didnt you hear anything I just said? Its not just a story- jack, JACK! oh for gods sake man! " The Doctor hissed following him quickly, making sure Martha was following them.

Once they reached the bottom, the Doctor whirled around to face Martha, finger inches from her face and his voice firm "you missy stay with me! Do not go off exploring do you hear me?" He turned and followed the sound of Jacks footsteps, 

"We dont know what might be lurking in these tunnels"

\------------------------

The three of them had been walking for a while now, observing the carvings and scratch marks in the walls, it looked like something big had been dragged through the tunnel they were following and the Doctor wasnt eager to find out what it was. It seemed that the closer they got to whatever they were following, the more the strange feeling in the pit of the Doctors stomach grew. 

The tunnels had no light, natural or creature made, so the doctor found himself leading him and Martha down the winding halls by the blue glow of his sonic screwdriver. 

Speaking of Martha, she had been clinging to his sleeve ever since they had stopped hearing Jacks footsteps ahead of them, afraid of whatever might be out in the dark, watching them, hunting them. At least, thats what it felt like.

" Doctor?"

"Mmmh? " The Doctor responded, partially distracted by the markings in the wall, tracing his fingers through the jagged but straight gashes in the stone, feeling the tingling sensation grow as he touched the rough stone walls. 

Martha shifted from foot to foot, nervously looking behind her every few minutes, as if imagining an actual creature sneaking up behind them;  
"Is there really something down here?... watching us?"

The Doctor looked at her over his shoulder, brushing red dust off on his jacket as he pathetically tried to reassure her,

"uh no, of course not! Like Jack said its just a story." He muttered not really listening to her, turning back to look at the red dust with a faint curiosity. 

That was until they heard Jack scream.

"Jack!"

"JACK!"

When they both rounded the corner to where Jack was tumbling on the floor with a hooded figure, the Doctor brandished his screwdriver in leu of a weapon.

"Stop! We arent here to hurt you or this planet I promise! We come in peace!" The doctor cried desperately as he watched the silhouette of a human place Jack in a chokehold. 

' Leave this planet' 

Though the creature didn't physically speak, the doctor had no trouble hearing what they were saying, it was telepathic.

When it didn't get an answer the creature pulled out a gun from under its scarlet cloak, pressing it to Jack's temple.

But that was its big mistake, because that wasn't any gun, that was a standard war issued, long range sonic blaster and the Timelord knew exactly who's it had been. The Initials were carved into the barrel of the gun, making the doctors hearts twist painfully in his chest.

Trying to keep his voice as level as possible, The Doctor dug his nails into the flesh of his palm  
" where did you get that gun?" 

When he didn't get an answer, his suppressed grief swallowed him whole from the inside out turning to rage.

" I said - WHERE DID YOU GET THAT GUN?!" 

"Doctor?..." Martha.. she was scared, rightly so, there was a possibly very dangerous.... thing in front of them that had a very strong gun. 

"Your shaking.."   
So he was ..

The doctors hand that was holding the sonic was trembling. 

How dare they, 

how dare they! 

The Timelord knew that the owner to that gun would never leave it where it could fall into the wrong hands; which meant they were dead or...  
No.  
It couldn't be...

Taking a hesitant step towards them, the doctor scrunched up his face whilst trying to use his telepathic abilities. It had been a good 300 years and he'd had no one to use them on so he was just a little rusty. 

'Brother?' 

The figure tensed up visibly and a growl was all he got for a response.   
Suddenly Jack's attacker pulled off his hood in one swift motion, revealing his face.  
"My brother died a long time ago!" The stranger hissed, voice scratchy and rough. It's evident that hadn't had anyone to talk to for a long while either.

The stranger was tall, only a few inches shorter than the doctor himself, but just as tall as jack, if not taller. His hair was a muddy blonde colour, probably brighter when having been cleaned thoroughly. But none of that was what he remembered, it was the scar— that damned scar. 

No matter what face he wore, no matter how many times he regenerated, that scar always remained. It was an ugly thing, travelling from his inner left ear all the way over the bridge of his nose, jagged but straight at the same time.

The Doctors eyes filled with uncontrollable tears as he lowered his sonic screwdriver. " It's me! The Doctor, don't you remember, tell me you haven't forgotten ...?" Voice shaky as he reached out a hand to his brother, like he had so many times when they were young.

Yet doing this only seemed make the situation worse,  
"LIAR!— don't come any closer! The doctor died when Gallifrey fell! Impersonating him will give you no fucking mercy !"  
He hissed powering up the gun— red light on the activate button flashing. 

" No no no wait! Wait! It's not a lie it's not! I promise. Your name! I know your name !"   
The doctor said, sentences mushed together as he spoke quickly.

" no you don't.."

" I do!"

" prove it."

The doctor smiled a little sadly, how could he forget.

"Theotarvorkolotrez Tactargittanes. Known by most as the Captain." 

There was silence for a long while before finally... finally, he spoke. 

"it's you."

" it's me..."

Everything else happened in a rush, even for his Timelord eyes. The Gun clattered to the ground as it beeped twice, powering off. Then a solid warm weight was against his chest, smothering him as he squeezed tight, dirty blonde hair tickling his face. 

" I can't believe it..." The captain whispered, voice choked and strained with holding back tears.   
" neither can I .." The doctor closed his eyes, voice trembling as he pressed a loving kiss to the crown of his head.

Jack cleared his throat and it was then that the Doctor was aware of the humans in the room.  
" oh right, uh, Jack Martha... this is The Captain.." 

"My brother."


	2. Small red box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We learn more about the captain. The doctor gets a shiner and jack has feelings!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AGAIN?! Twice in TWO DAYS WOW! alas it’s more of a character development chapter tbh sorry :(

" your brother?"

Yes. His brother. His baby brother was standing in front of him. Staring at him with the same shock that the doctor himself felt deep inside.

Tears silently ran down his cheeks as he put a gentle hand on the back of the captains neck, pulling him in and pressing their foreheads together gently.

'I thought I lost you'

' as did i, how are you alive?'

'I should be asking you the same question'

"Yes. My brother." The Doctor expressed to his companions, revelling in the feeling of the Captain in the flesh and blood.

Shaking his head he scrubbed at his eyes roughly, catching the bewildered looks that Martha and Jack were throwing at him, clueless to the small telepathic conversation that had just been had.

" Martha, Jack this is my brother." He repeated for the second time that day.

" oh please, call me Captain." He said flashing a grin at jack.

" sorry about the uh yknow, threatening with death thing, though I don't suppose you can die right?" The Captain dug his hands into the red pockets in his cloak, leaning back against the tunnel wall behind him, a knowing look on his face.

Jack stuttered for a response looking at the Captain with a bewildered gaze.   
" how did you?..."

" read his mind." The Captain pointed a thumb back at the doctor beside him.  
" he doesn't keep his thoughts tightly guarded, never has"

"Oi! I haven't needed to until now" The doctor said, unable to contain the joyful smile that overwhelmed his features, making his cheeks ache.

" Uh huh sure."

" wait I'm so confused, I thought you said you lost your brother!"

The Captain straightened up and he picked up his gun from the floor before speaking to the other 3,  
" if we are going to continue this... line of questioning then can we please do it elsewhere? "

The Doctor looked at The Captain, narrowing his eyes a little.  
"What happened to your TARDIS?" He asked warily. 

The Captain looked a bit sheepish and he self consciously fiddled with the sleeve of his cloak.

" I lost it."

Jack chose this moment to ask a question, halting the Doctors mini rant before it started.  
" wait you have a TARDIS? As in blue police box time travelling machine, bigger on the inside, TARDIS?" He asked looking thoroughly confused. The doctor didn't blame him, it was a lot to process at once.

" oh god no, mine is a fighter model. Faster, smoother and doesn't make that god awful wheezing noise." He said giving the doctor a very pointed look. 

Clearing his throat to draw attention, the Doctor interjected into the conversation,  
" I'm sorry can I just say something won't take long—, YOU LOST IT?!"

Flinching, his brother turned to him,   
" not lost.... just.. hidden. Somewhere I can't find it..."

Jack stifled a snort, " I think that's uh... that's called lost sugar." 

The Captain turned to look at Jack with a glint in his eyes " mmhm I'm starting to realise that, darling"

Upon realising that he had been smiling, Jack quickly turned away from the new Timelord and started down the tunnel that led back to the entrance.   
" he's right let's get back to your TARDIS doctor." 

The Captain looked at Martha with a puzzled expression that made the doctor grin uncontrollably. He'd missed that face.  
" Did I say something wrong?"

Martha looked up at the Captain, a blush staining her cheeks " U-Uh no.. he's just-"

" He's Jack. I'll explain later." He reassured the younger Timelord, hooking an arm around his shoulders as he led him after jack, letting Martha go in front. 

As they walked, The Doctor couldn't help but stare at the the little child he had helped to raise, now a fully grown Timelord in his own right. 

As the time passed he started noticing the little things he did that the doctor had almost forgotten; Like, the way he favoured his right foot when walking, The fact that his hand was always hovering close to his weapon— ready to fire, the way that he always stood on a persons left side so they wouldn't stare at his scar. 

Oh how he'd missed him. 

The Doctor felt so overjoyed, so full of love that he could tell it— scream it to anyone who would listen . 

No longer was he the last of his kind.

No longer was he the last of the timelords.

No longer was he alone.

=========

"okay, tell me what happened— from the beginning." 

The Doctor has sent Martha and Jack away to go and make tea while he spoke to The Captain.   
When he got no response, the elder brother put a gentle hand on the captain's knee. 

" Captain.."

Out of nowhere, there was a sharp pain in his jaw and the Doctor went sprawling on the cool floor of the TARDIS. He had forgotten what a killer right hook the other Timelord had. 

"What's-"

"You burned them all."

Ah. In truth, the Doctor had been planning to prevent this conversation for a while yet— not wanting to drive him away with the knowledge of what he'd done. What he had to do, for the greater good. For the good of the universe.

" yes... yes I did but you have to listen—"

“you. Burned. Them. ALL. OUR PEOPLE” He was angrier now, pain and betrayal present on his features. It was the same way the doctor had felt all those years ago when he had been forced to do the unthinkable. 

The Doctor held his hand out to try and reach him, to make him understand, but the Captain just recoiled like he had burnt him with his touch. He tried again 

“just listen to me, there wasnt another way-“

“Theres always another way!”

Growling, the doctor turned, forgotten grief bubbling up inside him.

“you dont think that I tried?! You think that it was easy, it had to be done for the greater good!- for the good of the universe!”

The Captain scoffed, jaw clenching as fresh pain crushed him from all sides, causing tears to escape despite his anger. “FUCK THE UNIVERSE! What about our home? What of the people, the children...” 

He turned away from the doctor but he could still see the shock underneath all that hate, all that anger. He ran his hands though his thick blonde hair and took a few steps towards the door.

“Dont.”   
the doctor rubbed at his eyes; fists clenched in his chestnut wispy hair. “Dont make me lose you again. Just dont.”

“please.”

The captain bit his lip, hard enough to draw blood, and turned. Finally, facing the doctor straight on, face red and blotchy from crying.

“You left me.”  
Ah. There it was. 

Worlds could be burned; thousands could die but the doctor leaving his brother behind? That was unforgivable. 

“you were supposed to be right behind me.”

His voice cracked as he spoke, holding back full on sobs. He closed the space between them, placing firm hands on the youngers shoulders. His fingers curled into the red fabric tightly as they trembled.

“Why- why werent you right behind me?”

The Captain sniffed and looked away, 

“I heard a children crying.”

“Honestly what is it with timelords and children crying. Is it a rule?”   
Jack asked as he walked back into the control room, carrying two cups of tea like a peace offering for the interruption.

The Captain took the Doctors lapse in concentration to slip out from under his grip, snag a cup of tea and escape through the TARDIS doors, silent as a mouse.

Jack took a seat in one of the grimy yellow chairs opposite the doctor an unreadable expression on his face. The Doctor rolled his eyes, wiping the moisture from his cheeks. “Youve never been the hesitant type Jack, just spit it out already.”

Jack blinked and leaned back in his chair, as if he hadnt realised he had been staring.

“Well I dont understand why he blew up as much as he did if burning Gallifrey really was the only option like you said.”   
He peeked over the mug of his coffee, nervously eying the doctor up like he was about to explode at him like the captain had.

Sighing, the doctor took a seat as well, all the time they didnt know where the other TARDIS was, they couldnt plot a location; so, he might as well indulge Jack in some story telling.

“My dear brother is too loyal for his own good and it gets him into trouble, or at least it did.”

The Doctor sipped his tea and frowned   
“The thought of destroying our home planet and all our people to save the universe is unthinkable to him. Family first in his eyes. It’s why I didn’t tell him”

Jack nodded as the Doctor spoke and leaned forward slightly as he thought of his response. “But you dont think like that? You think about the greater good?”   
He asked finally, eyes guarding what he was really thinking.

“I used to. I dont anymore. Ive lost too much to the greater good already. Its time I thought about my people. My family.” Jack looked uneasy and the doctor straightened up with a frown. “jack I know that you blame me for-“

“—Dont!” jack cleared his throat and stared into his coffee mug.   
“I just- dont sat his name please. It hurts too much right now.”

The Doctor nodded sympathetically, understanding his pain better than anyone. For the first hundred years he couldnt mention Gallifrey or even timelord without blubbering like a baby. This Ianto must have been one special man, he hoped that jack would trust him enough to tell him about the welsh teaboy one day.

“Well anyway, I know you blame me for the whole 456 event, but I hope you know that you count as my family too jack. Not just The Captain. You and Martha and donna and mickey and r-“ he took a deep breath “and rose. Your all my family.”

Jack looked thoughtful for a moment before draining the rest of the bitter liquid in his mug. “I know. We both do, me and Martha. But we also understand, youve been the only one for so long, now your not.”

The Doctor smiled softly and he nudged Jack with his knee, “Thats alright then. “

"Right, Id better go and see if the Captains calmed down yet." He touched the forming bruise on his cheek hesitantly “ I hope so.”

Jack snorted and he put his coffee mug down, "ill talk to him. Man, to man or undying man to timelord I guess. Besides he wouldnt dare punch this beautiful face." In that moment the Doctor swore that he could see a part of the old jack shining through the cracks. His icy exterior he had built up over the past 6 months melting ever so slightly.

======

Jacks heart jumped into his throat when he couldnt immediately see The Captain, he didnt want to have to explain to the doctor that his brother had disappeared, not when he had only just gotten him back.

After walking round the TARDIS for a while, he finally spotted the mysterious timelord, standing a way off on the top of a dusty hill. Grumbling about how broodiness must be a trait that all timelords share, he too made his way up to the mountain, radiating confidence as he walked. He approached behind the blondes sight of vision, which looking back probably hadnt been the best idea to gain his trust. One moment he had reached out to place a hand on the newcomers shoulder, the next he was lying facedown in the ashy dirt, arm firmly pinned to his back. 

Jack didnt yelp or cry or yell profanities like most would, instead he just went very still, chastising himself mentally for his foolishness. He really needed to start thinking of the Captain as an individual instead of a second doctor. It was becoming more apparent by the second that they couldnt be more different. 

Just as Jack had suspected, after a few seconds the Captain released Jack; stepping back with his arms folded behind his back, face closed off to any visible emotion. This was going to be harder than he thought. This guy was a complete closed book. He was worse than himself! Which was saying something in his current state of mind. 

He tried to make the first move and start a conversation,

"uhm, hi. I didnt introduce myself properly before; Captain Jack Harkness. Time traveler and such."

At hearing his name, the Captain raised an eyebrow, the slightest hint of a smile on his features. He spoke softly which Jack hadnt expected given his appearance.

"I remember. I tried to kill you, sorry about that by the way."

Jack laughed a little, biting back a grin, "Dont worry about it- the man who cant die remember?" he pressed his lips together and looked at the Captain expectantly.

Realization flashed across his face and he laughed nervously, a hand reaching up to rub the back of his neck. "Oh right!" he cleared his throat and stood up straight. "Nice to make your acquaintance Jack Harkness, Im The Captain" he smiled bright like a child who had just gotten an answer right on a quiz. When Jack didnt respond he tilted his head in a questioning manner.

"Thats still the way humans say hello isnt it?" 

Jack was just staring at the captain like a horny teenager, mesmerized by his appearance. Seriously though, what was it with timelords and looking fucking perfect? He realized that he hadnt responded when the Captain started waving his hand in front of his face like a loon. 

"Yes! yes. thats still how we say hello." Jack said quickly, trying to calm his racing heart. Smoothing out his hair, the time-traveler put on his best grin,

"Dont suppose I could get your actual name, could I? it physically hurts my ego to have two Captains on one ship."

The Captain let out a deep hardy laugh. A beautiful sound that jack practically swooned at before he caught himself.

"Down boy! You shouldve been paying more attention." He smirked as if he knew something that Jack didnt. "At least buy me dinner first."

Jack stuttered for a response, apparently short circuiting at the first sign of romantic attention in months.

"In all fairness you did have a very big gun to my head." Was the only coherent response he had been able to form a such short notice. 

God he was out of practice. 

"Again, apologies for that."

Turning back towards the TARDIS, Jack hid his boyish smile. 

"Come on space man lets go find your big blue box."

He heard footsteps behind him of the captain following.

"Red."

Jack furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as he opened the TARDIS doors.

"come again?"

"well. mine is red and small, not big and blue"

"of course it is."  
He sighed and stepped into the TARDIS.

======

The Doctor turned quickly when he heard the door creak open, and laughter filter through into the control room. If he didn't know any better then he would've said that the joyful sounds he'd just heard was his brother and Jack. 

Attempting to wait patiently without staring, the doctor leaned against the console, drumming his fingers against the dash. It only took a minute at the most before he got impatient.  
" Oi, blondie, I'm still waiting for an explanation."

Jack stood by the railings, watching and listening intently, his eyes fixed on the captain as he approached the doctor. Was that a hint of a blush he saw on the Time travellers cheeks? No, couldn't be. he just needed glasses surely.

"I'm sorry."

Now THAT shocked him out of his thoughts. His stubborn little brother saying sorry? Good god he must have really messed up. The doctor was not looking forward to finding out how.

The Captain folded his arms over his chest, as if he was trying to protect himself subconsciously.   
"The blast from...." he choked on the word of their home planet, seemingly not able to physically say it without breaking down.   
The captain tried again,  
" I had been trying to escort some evacuation ships out of the orbit when it burned. It knocked everything off course. They were ... they were destroying each other without even trying and I... because my ship was smaller, I was pushed further away, further to safety."  
He took a shaky deep breath, feeling all 3 pairs of eyes on him.

"I drifted for a long time, I didn't have a lot of power left. Then I crashed on this planet. The war had already started when I arrived but it wasn't a civil war it was the Daleks. They.. they had opened the ark somehow... it, they killed everyone. They weren't stupid though, they knew I was there, after all I was... am a war criminal. They took my TARDIS to try and drive me out but... I just disappeared underground."   
the Doctor caught his gaze.

"I was a coward. I'm sorry."

The Doctor was about to protest when Jack seemed to beat him to it.

"Cowardly ? More like really fucking smart." 

The captain gave him a weak smile in return and he tightened his arms around himself.   
The doctor nodded in agreement, "You did the best you could at the time. Can't ask for more than that." He said gently pulling him into a hug, letting him lean into him for support. 

"We'll find your TARDIS don't you worry about that."


End file.
